hot thing

I denied that it would happen to us. That syndrome the teachers warned us about and I saw happen to the class of 06 as the spread and scattered throughout New York and the world and tried getting their careers started. But here it is. The big, gaping yawn of WHAT NOW? We're all surviving, but when I look at it and take stock, I get kind of depressed.

Here I am. Temping and shooting student films in Texas. Sometimes all I want is to go back to New York on the spot, but other days, I never want to return to "reality."
Boss went to Europe. She wants to come home, she wants to stay, she's not sure what she wants.
Sessoms is stuck in NYC. She took the good job, and will be selling wedding dresses soon. And she's dreading it.
Daisy D. called me yesterday and for a half hour, she and I bemoaned our complete lack of artistic impulses.
Man doesn't know what he wants to do with his life. Again.
So what, is this just a trend hitting my particular group of friends?
Because it seems like several months after getting out of school, this happens to everybody.

So my question is, when the fuck does it end?
I'm tired of floundering. I'd like some solid answers and some success. Which means I can't afford NOT to have artistic impulses. Is it easier to take a real break or will it be impossible to pick up again from a dead stop?

Aaarrrrgh.

howdy

A catalogue of what I did today.
I took a modern dance class for the first time in I don't even know how long. I finished The Other Boleyn Girl and am tempted to purchase other Phillipa Gregory fictionalized history novels. I attempted to start reading Les Miserables and thought again how odd it is that I've never seen that show. I drove the big gold pick-up that the only other Jew in Austin has generously lent to me for the next few weeks. I drove it, and my boyfriend, to a Wal-Mart at one AM so we could look at TVs. I watched him clean things. I made pancakes. I went to a job interview. I decided I'm probably going to work at a Starbucks for a few weeks. I skipped a student film audition.

I don't really know what this period of time means in the grand scheme of things, but I think I can be okay with that.