let the drinks pour, let the crowds roar

Show #1, done and down. The Shetacular closed, and it was a Rave un2 the joy fantastic on the final night. That decision to say "fuck it" is always important.

I think what I can take away most from the extremely tense yet hilarious working experience that the whole thing was...is an altogether better method of delegation. One of the key things I have to remind myself when working in any kind of authority or (ahem) directorial position is I MUST DELEGATE. I'm the type that would rather take on the universe before asking for help. But when you are blessed with a capable team, you must learn to rely on them. By some incredible luck, when I decided to take on the task of costuming 26 people more than twice over (for two polar opposite musical theatre pieces), I was assigned a team of 7 volunteers who were willing...and kind...and excited...and GOOD at it. These are actresses, man, not seamstresses. But they were terrific. And once I learned I could depend on them, I stuck Judy (Cali's first year girlfriend, and an all-around awesome chick) at the helm, and actually became designer/actress...sweeping in with sequin suggestions, chopping up skirts, and pinning vests...and then leaving the team to execute with glorious precision.

So teamwork, right?

We had our first real Hair rehearsal. And Swank made it. With Sessoms, Metro, Boss, Daisy and several newcomers present. My mother, el choreographer, threw a bunch of very peculiar sixties movement exercises their way. It went...

GLORIOUSLY.

I have never been more thrilled with a first rehearsal. Something about this group INSTANTLY gelled, and there wasn't any fear in the room whatsoever. Everyone dove in.

Which reinforces that feeling of this being some kind of heaven-sent production. Truly, truly I think this one is going to be special, in ways I can't even imagine yet.

I miss Man. It doesn't hurt, exactly. But it's there. A little hum in my heart.

it needs work

So, the Shetacular has been really time/life consuming. But tonight was a really important night. And I did a really sub-par job. And the comment from the number one person in my life was "You looked really nervous."

Which, after two years of acting school, you'd think would not be in the roster of after-show commentary.

Now, after some nice happy time, and a little thinking, and a little being majorly pissed off at myself, I've decided to do what I usually do when I get in this mood.

Say fuck it.

So for the final show, the theme for me is "Fuck it."

And I'm sure, as is typically the pattern at the Shetacular, everyone else will feel it's an off night, and I will feel...awesome.

The Real Thing

Today was the runthrough day for the musical. Ohhh boy.

This was the "Real Thing" speech I was looking for. By Tom Stoppard. I saw this play years ago, didn't think much of it. Reading it was a much better experience than the performance.

Annie: Why aren't you jealous?...why don't you mind?
Henry: I do.
Annie: No, you don't.
Henry: That's true, I don't. Why is that? It's because I feel superior. There he is, poor bugger, picking up the odd crumb of ear wax from the rich man's table. You're right. I don't mind. I like it. I like the way his presumption admits his poverty. I like him, knowing that that's all there is, because you're coming home to me and we don't want anyone else. I love love. I love having a lover and being one. The insularity of passion. I love it. I love the way it blurs the distinction between everyone who isn't one's lover. Only two kinds of presence in the world. There's you and there's them. I love you so.




That feels like some truth to me, yo.

deep in my heart i'm concealing

Things I am longing to say..

I woke up this morning with Italiana's voice in my head, singing "You Must Love Me." On the terracotta floor were strewn: my dress from last night, empty bottles of water, "a dreamer examines his pillow" by JP Shanley, "The Real Thing" by Tom Stoppard, "Agnes of God" by John Pielmeier, my Catcher in the Rye script, a container of colored pencils and a costume sketch.

I drank far too much Chardonnay at the Welcome Cocktail Party of this wedding weekend extravaganza, but it wasn't enough to liberate the party animal. All the LA folk went dancing down the street - I went back to the villa, chatted with the older ladies from Boston, and passed out with my face in a play. There's a beautiful speech in The Real Thing about why the character Henry doesn't get jealous. About how being a lover and loving divides the world into two categories - your lover, and the everyone else. Everyone else gets blurry. In the situations where I haven't been a jealous lover, this is always the case.

But typically, I am a bit jealous.

This is the wedding of one Mr. Nat Faxon, actor from Club Dread, Slackers, & Beerfest. His writing partner, Jim, is here, and I absolutely froked when I saw him - apart from looking like a combination of Moby & Micheal Stipe, this guy plays the T.A. Phillip in Slackers...one of my all-time favorite dumb movies. Whenever I see him wandering the beach, I can't help but think: "This is the final exam. That's right, books go under our desk. It's not open book. We left junior high a long time ago!" in that terrific sarcastic snarl.

my blogger bar is all in spanish

Hello from Sayulita, Mexico!

Sometimes you take a vacation. Other times, vacations are forced upon you! Indeed, one month ago when I tried to trade this Mexican wedding getaway for a few regular days at Ye Olde Nei-Play, I was met with a resounding "Don't even think about it. You tell your teachers you're going, and that is that."

So I told my teachers (who bitched and moaned at me...aww...they like me!), and ultimately, I went. And from what I understand, the minute my plane took off, stuff started going down at NP. Social stuff. That I can't believe I've missed. But my gossipy side mourns while the rest of me absolutely jumps for joy. There's SUN here! And green things! And an ocean! And a villa that is so gorgeous, I couldn't have designed a better one in my dreams.

To satisfy my theater geekiness, today, I sat my the pool and did costume drawings, and memorized my lines. That's productive, right? Heck, with enough tequila in me tonight, I might even do a little Lady Anne for my casamates.

When I get back to Nueva York, we'll be in full swing for the musical, and I'll be in costume making madness. Anyone who wants to come join me, beginning February 10th, I'm taking up residence in the basement of school with a sewing machine and lots of musty old clothes.

I think I gotta hit up that pineapple over there, and maybe build a sandcastle or something. The only thing this beach is missing is a boyfriend.